And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
