the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
