I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
