Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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