Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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