just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
