If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You were trust falling into bushes
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
