How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
