i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
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im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
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I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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