A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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