is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
