why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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