i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
