I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
