I think I died a long time ago.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
