i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
