He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
