did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
