I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
