Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Randomize
