i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
