so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How does it feel to date your dad?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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