I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
