Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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