I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
