Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
