Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize