Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
