Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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