you win again, gameday.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
