I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
