I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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