is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He felt like a one man threesome
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
