i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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