I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
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Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?