New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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