You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
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being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.