So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow