I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
