My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize