she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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