when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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