this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
