did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize