I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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