So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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