Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He shit in the fireplace
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
