Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
how drunk are you?
Several
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
