Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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