Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
