you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
