i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
