But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
