I just cut my nipple shaving
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
