I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
