i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
