Kiss
Puke
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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