It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
