somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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