just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
