he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
