No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
