using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
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Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
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That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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