Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
