He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
