Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
