Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
