what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
