Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
