Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
